"Oh, Brad, darling, I know I've done better recently in these award show getups. But I just don't have the strength in my frighteningly bony arms and hands to pick up a dress with any structure. I will, instead, go with this horrid thing that looks like a bad 70s dress on the top and a horrible mistake on the bottom. And I'm not going to wash OR brush my hair."
Egads.
But my personal worst: Olivia Wilde.
SOMEONE is reliving their 1970s prom memories. And not in a good way, like by going and making out with the quarterback in the back of his El Camino.
Amy Adams:
In general, I adore her. But I fear she smuggled Kevin Connolly in under that skirt. Lordy. Look at the imaginary hips on her now!
Christina Applegate:
She's had a really bad year, so the karma gods won't like this, but the drop waist on that dress was a really bad idea. I like the dress otherwise. But take that waist up about six inches.
The Cyruses:
Miley FINALLY looks like an actual teenager...and her mom looks like a groupie. And, for the record, I'm sending Billy Ray a Supercuts gift card tomorrow. Dude, you're like 45 years old. Cut the damn hair.
Elizabeth Banks:
Smoking hot woman, funny as hell, the kind of girl I'd love to sit around and be snarky with. But right here, right now? She looks like Miss Chattaleeocha County, 1982.
Glenn Close became Austin Powers ... when?
I love Jenna Fischer too, but she's wearing my grandmother's chair cover.
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